I'm excited for this semester - I have a pathetically tiny course load (13 credits), and my classes seem surprisingly doable. My Spanish literature course is focused on Don Quijote this semester (probably a good work to read for, say, a Hispanics Studies major), and my German class is focused on love and death in German literature. Both seem to be interesting topics, with good professors, so yay for foreign languages that I will inevitably mix together when speaking (oops).
Other than that, I still haven't taken a lab science (an unfortunate requirement at this silly liberal arts place - wanting students to have a well-rounded education... disgusting!) So I'm taking environmental chemistry. Not too excited about returning to mathy stuff, and the professor is...not entirely inspiring, but it will be doable. Plus, my last class is yoga. Now, bear in mind that I will destroy any and all good things that the yoga class does to my body by running off to lift weights shortly afterwards, but hey, at least it'll be a fun class.
With such a light course load, I have the opportunity to work on other stuff this semester as well. Namely, art, excercise, sleep, and learning Korean. Maybe working on Finnish and Japanese as well, but those two are rather less likely. And playing ridiculous amounts of board games with Jay, since we have far too many in our apartment. Ah well. On the note of our apartment, though, (and in the words of my linguisticly-creative madre): hallefrickenloolah. What a difference it makes to actually tolerate one's roommate (let alone absolutely adore). This bodes well for the coming semester.
Oh, I forgot to mention: I have no classes on Tuesdays or Thursdays. Muahahaha! This means sleeping sufficiently, and then fun stuff (ie Korean) before having to hit them books.... Though when I do study, it's interesting material! What a change from last semester! Okay, I'm inspired to work a bit more on my Korean so I'm off!
23 January 2007
16 December 2006
Finishing finals...
Portland, Oregon
*Whew* I am now done with all final exams and therefore officially finished with Spanish Lit (To be continued next semester), Early European History, and Colonial Latin American History. May the histories rest in peace and never never never plague my semester schedule again. Seriously. How is it that 2 400-level foreign language classes were a breeze while 2 100-level history classes gave me so much trouble? History is no good, I say. But it's over. All I have left is a presentation in my German class (gender roles in the Nibelungenlied) and then I'm home free.
Jay and I are moving into a huge on-campus double apartment next semester, so we have to move all our stuff into the storage facility of that hall. We're pretty much done though, so that's not particularly stressful. While I'll miss having an oven, I will absolutely not miss the women I lived with for the first part of this semester. Guh. In one case especially, I had to deal with pretty much the preppy/immature/spoiled type that I spent all of high school avoiding. And then we lived together. Lovely. Personality clash to the extreme.
On that note, next semester will be the first ever that I've actually selected my roommate. Honestly, I had great luck my first two years, and technically lived without a roommate last year, so a few duds were bound to come my way at some point... The residents of my old room were clearly they. Blah. I am, however, eagerly awaiting my return to Berkeley, especially since my family's new cat is probably the size of a small tiger by this time. Oh, and of course seeing family and friends will be wonderful. I'm also looking forward to a potential mini-road trip to Death Valley with Jules, which would be amazing if we can figure out how to do it.
For the most part, aside from looking forward to vacation, I'm just trying to get a grip on my senioritis and uncertainty for the coming year(s). South Korea is looking like a very attractive (and rather likely) possibility, as both Jay and a good friend of his are interested. This of course serves to re-spark my interest in Asian languages, so I'm back to making flashcards to learn Japanese and Korean. I have to say, Korean is a lot less complicated than the languages of its neighbors. I just wish I'd put in the effort to maintain the small amount of Korean literacy I had after my semester in Chile - after a year and a half of concentrating on other languages, I'll have to start all over by re-learning the alphabet.
Additionally, I'm excited to visit the art store this weekend to prepare for creativity bursts next semester. They're bound to happen... I hope. If not, I may as well try to find an off-campus job, since I have two free days during the week and I should keep myself entertained somehow. Maybe I'll just raid the libraries in the area and try to learn Italian, Korean, French, Japanese, Mandarin, Finnish, and Arabic. Oh, and maybe Greek. ^_^.
Honestly though, I don't quite know how I'm going to do justice to what very well may be my last year in Portland. My time here has gone by so fast... And while I regret that my time abroad precluded my ability to keep strong connections here at LC, the time I spent in Latin America and Europe was invaluable to developing the person I'm still in the process of becoming. At the least, I have some pretty photos. At the best, I have an infinite source of inspiration to keep exploring. And all the while, I haven't even thoroughly explored Portland and what it has to offer. Maybe in the coming months (as the sun begins to reappear), I'll have a chance to run amok through the bridges and streets of Portland as I should have by now.
Much love to everyone, and here's to hoping the holidays and the new year are wonderful. May we not get tangled in Christmas lights (though, if our cat does, I promise I'll pass the pictures along).
Jay and I are moving into a huge on-campus double apartment next semester, so we have to move all our stuff into the storage facility of that hall. We're pretty much done though, so that's not particularly stressful. While I'll miss having an oven, I will absolutely not miss the women I lived with for the first part of this semester. Guh. In one case especially, I had to deal with pretty much the preppy/immature/spoiled type that I spent all of high school avoiding. And then we lived together. Lovely. Personality clash to the extreme.
On that note, next semester will be the first ever that I've actually selected my roommate. Honestly, I had great luck my first two years, and technically lived without a roommate last year, so a few duds were bound to come my way at some point... The residents of my old room were clearly they. Blah. I am, however, eagerly awaiting my return to Berkeley, especially since my family's new cat is probably the size of a small tiger by this time. Oh, and of course seeing family and friends will be wonderful. I'm also looking forward to a potential mini-road trip to Death Valley with Jules, which would be amazing if we can figure out how to do it.
For the most part, aside from looking forward to vacation, I'm just trying to get a grip on my senioritis and uncertainty for the coming year(s). South Korea is looking like a very attractive (and rather likely) possibility, as both Jay and a good friend of his are interested. This of course serves to re-spark my interest in Asian languages, so I'm back to making flashcards to learn Japanese and Korean. I have to say, Korean is a lot less complicated than the languages of its neighbors. I just wish I'd put in the effort to maintain the small amount of Korean literacy I had after my semester in Chile - after a year and a half of concentrating on other languages, I'll have to start all over by re-learning the alphabet.
Additionally, I'm excited to visit the art store this weekend to prepare for creativity bursts next semester. They're bound to happen... I hope. If not, I may as well try to find an off-campus job, since I have two free days during the week and I should keep myself entertained somehow. Maybe I'll just raid the libraries in the area and try to learn Italian, Korean, French, Japanese, Mandarin, Finnish, and Arabic. Oh, and maybe Greek. ^_^.
Honestly though, I don't quite know how I'm going to do justice to what very well may be my last year in Portland. My time here has gone by so fast... And while I regret that my time abroad precluded my ability to keep strong connections here at LC, the time I spent in Latin America and Europe was invaluable to developing the person I'm still in the process of becoming. At the least, I have some pretty photos. At the best, I have an infinite source of inspiration to keep exploring. And all the while, I haven't even thoroughly explored Portland and what it has to offer. Maybe in the coming months (as the sun begins to reappear), I'll have a chance to run amok through the bridges and streets of Portland as I should have by now.
Much love to everyone, and here's to hoping the holidays and the new year are wonderful. May we not get tangled in Christmas lights (though, if our cat does, I promise I'll pass the pictures along).
06 November 2006
It's probably that time again...
Portland, Oregon
It has recently come to my attention that I am very bad about updating this during the school year. When I'm traveling, great, but when in school... blah.
So, here's your mid-term update: Portland is rainy. Shocking, I know. Early November and it's constantly drizzling, occasionally throwing in that extra "oomph" to make it actually poor. Fabulous.
Other than the weather change, what else has happened since I last wrote... Well, Carrie visited me for a long weekend during Fall Break (during which we ran to all the touristy places we could in the rain), classes started handing out paper assignments and exam dates, swim season started up (competitions), and I rearranged my room.
So I suppose in all honesty, there's not a whole lot to say. For the most part, I'm burned out and just wanting to graduate. I'm lucky in that, were I not to do any reading nor attend the majority of my history classes, I could almost definitely swing a B in both of them regardless. Which, given the ridiculous amount of classes already on my transcript, would not endanger my GPA or my Honors Thesis. That's pretty much where I'm heading now, as my first impulse is to curl up and sleep most the time and the next best thing is to slide through coursework. German and Spanish are easier, as the material is actually interesting for the most part, and reading it doesn't make my head hurt. I wonder if it is worrisome that reading in English has become a slow chore? Hm...
I'm currently wondering what to do with my life after graduation. Given the above paragraph, graduate school is out for at least a year. Additionally, as I want to travel more than anything else, the idea of going to eastern Asia to teach ESL is extremely appealing. That would take care of money, travel, cultural exploration, and work experience all at once. Right now, Jay and I are looking at South Korea and Japan (though the cost of living in Japan is much higher). Without CELTA or Trinity TESOL certification, Latin America and Europe are pretty much closed off. The Middle East generally demands a Masters, plus a whole lot of teaching experience, which neither of us have right now. Oh, and then there's the minor detail that my country wants to destroy/control all of the countries in the Middle East.... That could be a minor barrier. Who knows. Jay seems intrigued by the possibility of traveling and earning money abroad, it's mainly just a question of safety and reliability.
Strangely, I've been having dreams about Chile - not just when I'm asleep, but sometimes daydreams as well - images and memories flashing by and then I'm back to the here and now... I find it odd that I'm not getting flashbacks of Germany or of my travels, or even of particularly interesting things in Chile. Instead, it's a flash of the micro ride down Cerro Esperanza, a memory of eating at a restaurant near Stephanie's house while helping her to smuggle her empty glass coca cola bottle out, watching dancers at Aché Havana. Sitting in Haydée's Spanish literature class. Waking up in my room. Walking through the school. Getting lost trying to find my way out of the mall by Carrie's house. Riding with Carlos to pick up/deliver avocados, praying that his driving didn't kill us.
Maybe my mind's playing tricks on me, but the primary reaction I'm getting from this is a need to go back, to reassure myself that all these things were real. Will this happen with Germany in a year, too? Why Chile? Why now? I'm being pulled in so many directions, academically, physically, and emotionally... but I can't be bothered with classes, with grades, when what I really want is to go back into explorer mode... to witness the unknown.
For now, though, the closest thing I have is to fantasize - consider where I want to go and how to get there... or to remain in the nostalgia of the last few years - re-organizing photos, re-reading logs...
So much that I want to do and so little time and resources, but I suppose those will come eventually.
Staying in the present can, I suppose, be difficult, though living entirely in the past or the future would make the present cease to matter... and then I won't be able to look back at it when it's the past, right? Right. So. Homework. ...My logic may, on second thought, be flawed.
So, here's your mid-term update: Portland is rainy. Shocking, I know. Early November and it's constantly drizzling, occasionally throwing in that extra "oomph" to make it actually poor. Fabulous.
Other than the weather change, what else has happened since I last wrote... Well, Carrie visited me for a long weekend during Fall Break (during which we ran to all the touristy places we could in the rain), classes started handing out paper assignments and exam dates, swim season started up (competitions), and I rearranged my room.
So I suppose in all honesty, there's not a whole lot to say. For the most part, I'm burned out and just wanting to graduate. I'm lucky in that, were I not to do any reading nor attend the majority of my history classes, I could almost definitely swing a B in both of them regardless. Which, given the ridiculous amount of classes already on my transcript, would not endanger my GPA or my Honors Thesis. That's pretty much where I'm heading now, as my first impulse is to curl up and sleep most the time and the next best thing is to slide through coursework. German and Spanish are easier, as the material is actually interesting for the most part, and reading it doesn't make my head hurt. I wonder if it is worrisome that reading in English has become a slow chore? Hm...
I'm currently wondering what to do with my life after graduation. Given the above paragraph, graduate school is out for at least a year. Additionally, as I want to travel more than anything else, the idea of going to eastern Asia to teach ESL is extremely appealing. That would take care of money, travel, cultural exploration, and work experience all at once. Right now, Jay and I are looking at South Korea and Japan (though the cost of living in Japan is much higher). Without CELTA or Trinity TESOL certification, Latin America and Europe are pretty much closed off. The Middle East generally demands a Masters, plus a whole lot of teaching experience, which neither of us have right now. Oh, and then there's the minor detail that my country wants to destroy/control all of the countries in the Middle East.... That could be a minor barrier. Who knows. Jay seems intrigued by the possibility of traveling and earning money abroad, it's mainly just a question of safety and reliability.
Strangely, I've been having dreams about Chile - not just when I'm asleep, but sometimes daydreams as well - images and memories flashing by and then I'm back to the here and now... I find it odd that I'm not getting flashbacks of Germany or of my travels, or even of particularly interesting things in Chile. Instead, it's a flash of the micro ride down Cerro Esperanza, a memory of eating at a restaurant near Stephanie's house while helping her to smuggle her empty glass coca cola bottle out, watching dancers at Aché Havana. Sitting in Haydée's Spanish literature class. Waking up in my room. Walking through the school. Getting lost trying to find my way out of the mall by Carrie's house. Riding with Carlos to pick up/deliver avocados, praying that his driving didn't kill us.
Maybe my mind's playing tricks on me, but the primary reaction I'm getting from this is a need to go back, to reassure myself that all these things were real. Will this happen with Germany in a year, too? Why Chile? Why now? I'm being pulled in so many directions, academically, physically, and emotionally... but I can't be bothered with classes, with grades, when what I really want is to go back into explorer mode... to witness the unknown.
For now, though, the closest thing I have is to fantasize - consider where I want to go and how to get there... or to remain in the nostalgia of the last few years - re-organizing photos, re-reading logs...
So much that I want to do and so little time and resources, but I suppose those will come eventually.
Staying in the present can, I suppose, be difficult, though living entirely in the past or the future would make the present cease to matter... and then I won't be able to look back at it when it's the past, right? Right. So. Homework. ...My logic may, on second thought, be flawed.
12 September 2006
Senior year - what?
Portland, Oregon
So, I am now back in Portland, attending Lewis and Clark (properly) for the first time in 3 semesters... and they think I'm graduating this year. I mean, it must be a joke - I've only had 3 semesters of real school (by which I mean, on campus), and then 3 semesters of self-development and travel, and now they think I'm a senior. It's simply ludicrous.
But, silly confusion of my school's administrators aside, it's... interesting to be back. I'd say it's good to be here, and that would be true, but only a partial truth. In actuality, it's disorienting and hectic and stressful and exciting and draining and uplifting all at once. First off, unlike 95% of the students here, I had one month of vacation time, instead of the typical four months. Second, schoolwork is a daily actuality here - hundreds of pages of reading per week (200 for just one of my classes), frequent quizzes and papers and homework... quite a difference from the lackadaisical academia of Chile and the paper-based classes in Germany. On top of the schoolwork, I'm working on preserving (or in some cases, probably still developing) literacy in 3 languages, and on preparing myself for a successful entrance into the "real world" in less than eight months.
Less than eight months. That number seems so impossible to me, when eight months ago I was running across Europe with Jay, and eight months before that, getting my heart broken for the first time in Chile. Time is elusive and relative, if not entirely random (or a creative figment of our collective imagination). Regardless of this, they say that at the end of this year, I'm an educated adult and must therefore secure work or go about seeking to find someone to fund my perpetual education. As years of graduate school does not sound like paradise after my experience in Germany, I'm going with the theory that my resume needs some serious work. To this effect, I'm working 13 hours/week in the on-campus cafeteria, volunteer-managing the swim team, leading discussion groups in first- and second-year German classes, (hopefully) tutoring Spanish and German students, and working on developing a nice honors thesis for German.
This is on top of my four other classes. Theoretically, I will have a light class load next semester, allowing me the time to (a) really concentrate on my thesis and (b) finding a local internship related to my desired field of work. In the meantime, I should probably consider what that field is.... For now, it's all I can do to keep up with my schedule of classes and meetings and deadlines and practices, eating and exercising when I have free time. It's pretty crazy, but it's also so very RIGHT. I'm liking my classes again. I'm inspired to work for them, to care about my education.... And it's such a relief to find that I still have the ability to care, that I'm happy to push myself to keep it.
I was thinking today how strongly I've been influenced by my participation on the swim team in my first years here - despite never being one of the true competitors (that is to say, not one of the ones who was breaking records or placing well in meets), I always pushed myself and those around me to do their best... To finish the set, despite being behind, to test our own limits. I'm thrilled to find that I'm doing that now, as second nature, without even trying. And what's more, I'm succeeding. Yes, there are concessions, and times when I have to admit that I'm not up a specific challenge, but I'm constantly pushing myself, refusing to allow that bit of boredom (or in some cases, exhaustion) preclude me from finishing my reading for the next day, refusing to slack off at work, refusing to drop off the swim team completely (though I'm physically not up to the challenge anymore), refusing to do shoddy work when I can do better.
This is where I was going sophomore year. This is where I was afraid I'd never be again after Germany. And this is where I am now. Where I'll be in a week, I couldn't say. Quite possibly burning out just a few weeks into the semester, but very likely still loving it.
Pushing limits - I think my parents used to be upset about my inclinations to do this, but perhaps just because I was pushing theirs and not mine. Expanding my own boundaries, testing my abilities, endurance, and dedication... I love that LC inspires me to do this. And right now, where I am, I'm feeling amazingly content with my life. Despite having no idea where I'll be in eight months, and despite having a very imposing to-do list to still complete tonight, and despite having a lot of research to do this week, every time I pause (be it only for a moment), I'm struck by how really happy I am here.
Admittedly, much of this may have to do with Jay, who is serendipitously living right down the hall, or with the euphoria of being "back in my element" or with my re-discovery of the joys of a free gym/swimming pool, or with the gloriously sunny weather.
...But that doesn't really matter, I don't think. The point is, I'm thrilled to be here, doing what I'm doing. So, yay life. Now to read some German, some Spanish, some history, and to scour some German newspapers.
I leave you, therefore, with a quote that's been running itself through my head recently. And, although the song is in many ways depressing, I find this particular section inspiring and uplifting:
"These things we do to keep the flame burnin
And write our fire in the sky
Another day to see the world turnin
Another avenue to try."
-"Luck of the Draw" by Bonnie Raitt
Much love to everyone (here's to hoping that it's contagious).
But, silly confusion of my school's administrators aside, it's... interesting to be back. I'd say it's good to be here, and that would be true, but only a partial truth. In actuality, it's disorienting and hectic and stressful and exciting and draining and uplifting all at once. First off, unlike 95% of the students here, I had one month of vacation time, instead of the typical four months. Second, schoolwork is a daily actuality here - hundreds of pages of reading per week (200 for just one of my classes), frequent quizzes and papers and homework... quite a difference from the lackadaisical academia of Chile and the paper-based classes in Germany. On top of the schoolwork, I'm working on preserving (or in some cases, probably still developing) literacy in 3 languages, and on preparing myself for a successful entrance into the "real world" in less than eight months.
Less than eight months. That number seems so impossible to me, when eight months ago I was running across Europe with Jay, and eight months before that, getting my heart broken for the first time in Chile. Time is elusive and relative, if not entirely random (or a creative figment of our collective imagination). Regardless of this, they say that at the end of this year, I'm an educated adult and must therefore secure work or go about seeking to find someone to fund my perpetual education. As years of graduate school does not sound like paradise after my experience in Germany, I'm going with the theory that my resume needs some serious work. To this effect, I'm working 13 hours/week in the on-campus cafeteria, volunteer-managing the swim team, leading discussion groups in first- and second-year German classes, (hopefully) tutoring Spanish and German students, and working on developing a nice honors thesis for German.
This is on top of my four other classes. Theoretically, I will have a light class load next semester, allowing me the time to (a) really concentrate on my thesis and (b) finding a local internship related to my desired field of work. In the meantime, I should probably consider what that field is.... For now, it's all I can do to keep up with my schedule of classes and meetings and deadlines and practices, eating and exercising when I have free time. It's pretty crazy, but it's also so very RIGHT. I'm liking my classes again. I'm inspired to work for them, to care about my education.... And it's such a relief to find that I still have the ability to care, that I'm happy to push myself to keep it.
I was thinking today how strongly I've been influenced by my participation on the swim team in my first years here - despite never being one of the true competitors (that is to say, not one of the ones who was breaking records or placing well in meets), I always pushed myself and those around me to do their best... To finish the set, despite being behind, to test our own limits. I'm thrilled to find that I'm doing that now, as second nature, without even trying. And what's more, I'm succeeding. Yes, there are concessions, and times when I have to admit that I'm not up a specific challenge, but I'm constantly pushing myself, refusing to allow that bit of boredom (or in some cases, exhaustion) preclude me from finishing my reading for the next day, refusing to slack off at work, refusing to drop off the swim team completely (though I'm physically not up to the challenge anymore), refusing to do shoddy work when I can do better.
This is where I was going sophomore year. This is where I was afraid I'd never be again after Germany. And this is where I am now. Where I'll be in a week, I couldn't say. Quite possibly burning out just a few weeks into the semester, but very likely still loving it.
Pushing limits - I think my parents used to be upset about my inclinations to do this, but perhaps just because I was pushing theirs and not mine. Expanding my own boundaries, testing my abilities, endurance, and dedication... I love that LC inspires me to do this. And right now, where I am, I'm feeling amazingly content with my life. Despite having no idea where I'll be in eight months, and despite having a very imposing to-do list to still complete tonight, and despite having a lot of research to do this week, every time I pause (be it only for a moment), I'm struck by how really happy I am here.
Admittedly, much of this may have to do with Jay, who is serendipitously living right down the hall, or with the euphoria of being "back in my element" or with my re-discovery of the joys of a free gym/swimming pool, or with the gloriously sunny weather.
...But that doesn't really matter, I don't think. The point is, I'm thrilled to be here, doing what I'm doing. So, yay life. Now to read some German, some Spanish, some history, and to scour some German newspapers.
I leave you, therefore, with a quote that's been running itself through my head recently. And, although the song is in many ways depressing, I find this particular section inspiring and uplifting:
"These things we do to keep the flame burnin
And write our fire in the sky
Another day to see the world turnin
Another avenue to try."
-"Luck of the Draw" by Bonnie Raitt
Much love to everyone (here's to hoping that it's contagious).
22 August 2006
Back in the Bay Area
Berkeley, California
Interestingly enough, after returning from Valparaíso, Chile, Berkeley seemed sparkly and clean in comparison. Now, returning from Germany, I’m struggling to come to grips (again) with the homeless population, with the smell of too many cars, and with the considerable decrease in general prettiness (in strictest terms) from shiny Munich.
The other extreme is taken by Palo Alto, the suburb where I grew up. This rich community of Stanford-alumni or Stanford-bound is laid out by an oppressive city ordinance requiring every house to follow the uniform tree regulation of its street (when our house’s oak tree died, the city refused to allow us to plant a willow tree in its stead, as that would have destroyed the unity of Greer St.). The result, of course, is a very lush suburb (especially in comparison to urban Berkeley), further highlighted by the range of shiny expensive cars driven around by the locals (public high school students driving brand new Mustangs and Porsches? You’d better believe it.)
I always feel out of place in Palo Alto now. Partially, this is due to my frustration at having taken this extremely privileged community as the “norm” when I was in high school (I recall temporarily resenting the fact that my parents gave me the used minivan when I turned sixteen, instead of buying me a shiny new car like all the other kids). While I appreciate the education, opportunities, and friendships that growing up in Palo Alto afforded me, I regret that I was drawn into that culture without even knowing it. It saddens me that my parents had to deal with another Palo Alto snob as a child, when all they wanted was to give me a good education.
I now occasionally refer to Palo Alto as the “shiny city” (so named for the spotless streets as well as for the shiny new cars. Karin, our wonderful neighbor in Palo Alto, once said that it was as if there was a little old lady sweeping up after everyone in Palo Alto). So, if I mention it again (which I’m sure to do), you’ll know what I’m talking about.
It’s strange, associating “home” with Berkeley and Valpo and LC and Munich (well, Jay) all at once. Strange, and disconcerting at the same time. I feel as if I’m not really here. I can see my hands in front of me, and they’re cooking something in the Berkeley kitchen, but if I turned around, the Valpo dining room could face me. Or if I pass through that door, Jay could be sitting on the chair playing guitar. Or if I barge into the hallway brandishing a tube of toothpaste, I can wage a playful war with Rigel (my first year roommate at LC). All my memories are trying to coexist, to meld the places into the time that I feel they must have occurred in. In the space of two years, could I really have been in all these places? Plus the traveling with Carrie in Latin America? And with Jay in Europe? And with my dad in London? And with Julia to the coast? Realistically, it doesn’t add up. If everything happened “just yesterday”, then clearly they must all be in one place.
Either that, or I have a wicked-fast method of rocket-based travel.
In the time remaining in CA (about 1.4 weeks), I need to somehow (a) get my knee fixed by a chiropractor (b) get my yearly physical (c) make an appointment and get all four of my wisdom teeth removed (d) get a cellphone (e) somehow get down to Santa Cruz to see Leoni and (f) figure out what I want to write my honor’s thesis on.
Oh, and pack for my final year at LC. You know, seeing as my flight leaves on the first of September. Arg. Maybe I can finish knitting that haltar top and reading the pile of delectable for-fun books in that time too? And sleep? Sure I can. Maybe. Hm.
The other extreme is taken by Palo Alto, the suburb where I grew up. This rich community of Stanford-alumni or Stanford-bound is laid out by an oppressive city ordinance requiring every house to follow the uniform tree regulation of its street (when our house’s oak tree died, the city refused to allow us to plant a willow tree in its stead, as that would have destroyed the unity of Greer St.). The result, of course, is a very lush suburb (especially in comparison to urban Berkeley), further highlighted by the range of shiny expensive cars driven around by the locals (public high school students driving brand new Mustangs and Porsches? You’d better believe it.)
I always feel out of place in Palo Alto now. Partially, this is due to my frustration at having taken this extremely privileged community as the “norm” when I was in high school (I recall temporarily resenting the fact that my parents gave me the used minivan when I turned sixteen, instead of buying me a shiny new car like all the other kids). While I appreciate the education, opportunities, and friendships that growing up in Palo Alto afforded me, I regret that I was drawn into that culture without even knowing it. It saddens me that my parents had to deal with another Palo Alto snob as a child, when all they wanted was to give me a good education.
I now occasionally refer to Palo Alto as the “shiny city” (so named for the spotless streets as well as for the shiny new cars. Karin, our wonderful neighbor in Palo Alto, once said that it was as if there was a little old lady sweeping up after everyone in Palo Alto). So, if I mention it again (which I’m sure to do), you’ll know what I’m talking about.
It’s strange, associating “home” with Berkeley and Valpo and LC and Munich (well, Jay) all at once. Strange, and disconcerting at the same time. I feel as if I’m not really here. I can see my hands in front of me, and they’re cooking something in the Berkeley kitchen, but if I turned around, the Valpo dining room could face me. Or if I pass through that door, Jay could be sitting on the chair playing guitar. Or if I barge into the hallway brandishing a tube of toothpaste, I can wage a playful war with Rigel (my first year roommate at LC). All my memories are trying to coexist, to meld the places into the time that I feel they must have occurred in. In the space of two years, could I really have been in all these places? Plus the traveling with Carrie in Latin America? And with Jay in Europe? And with my dad in London? And with Julia to the coast? Realistically, it doesn’t add up. If everything happened “just yesterday”, then clearly they must all be in one place.
Either that, or I have a wicked-fast method of rocket-based travel.
In the time remaining in CA (about 1.4 weeks), I need to somehow (a) get my knee fixed by a chiropractor (b) get my yearly physical (c) make an appointment and get all four of my wisdom teeth removed (d) get a cellphone (e) somehow get down to Santa Cruz to see Leoni and (f) figure out what I want to write my honor’s thesis on.
Oh, and pack for my final year at LC. You know, seeing as my flight leaves on the first of September. Arg. Maybe I can finish knitting that haltar top and reading the pile of delectable for-fun books in that time too? And sleep? Sure I can. Maybe. Hm.
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