Interestingly enough, after returning from Valparaíso, Chile, Berkeley seemed sparkly and clean in comparison. Now, returning from Germany, I’m struggling to come to grips (again) with the homeless population, with the smell of too many cars, and with the considerable decrease in general prettiness (in strictest terms) from shiny Munich.
The other extreme is taken by Palo Alto, the suburb where I grew up. This rich community of Stanford-alumni or Stanford-bound is laid out by an oppressive city ordinance requiring every house to follow the uniform tree regulation of its street (when our house’s oak tree died, the city refused to allow us to plant a willow tree in its stead, as that would have destroyed the unity of Greer St.). The result, of course, is a very lush suburb (especially in comparison to urban Berkeley), further highlighted by the range of shiny expensive cars driven around by the locals (public high school students driving brand new Mustangs and Porsches? You’d better believe it.)
I always feel out of place in Palo Alto now. Partially, this is due to my frustration at having taken this extremely privileged community as the “norm” when I was in high school (I recall temporarily resenting the fact that my parents gave me the used minivan when I turned sixteen, instead of buying me a shiny new car like all the other kids). While I appreciate the education, opportunities, and friendships that growing up in Palo Alto afforded me, I regret that I was drawn into that culture without even knowing it. It saddens me that my parents had to deal with another Palo Alto snob as a child, when all they wanted was to give me a good education.
I now occasionally refer to Palo Alto as the “shiny city” (so named for the spotless streets as well as for the shiny new cars. Karin, our wonderful neighbor in Palo Alto, once said that it was as if there was a little old lady sweeping up after everyone in Palo Alto). So, if I mention it again (which I’m sure to do), you’ll know what I’m talking about.
It’s strange, associating “home” with Berkeley and Valpo and LC and Munich (well, Jay) all at once. Strange, and disconcerting at the same time. I feel as if I’m not really here. I can see my hands in front of me, and they’re cooking something in the Berkeley kitchen, but if I turned around, the Valpo dining room could face me. Or if I pass through that door, Jay could be sitting on the chair playing guitar. Or if I barge into the hallway brandishing a tube of toothpaste, I can wage a playful war with Rigel (my first year roommate at LC). All my memories are trying to coexist, to meld the places into the time that I feel they must have occurred in. In the space of two years, could I really have been in all these places? Plus the traveling with Carrie in Latin America? And with Jay in Europe? And with my dad in London? And with Julia to the coast? Realistically, it doesn’t add up. If everything happened “just yesterday”, then clearly they must all be in one place.
Either that, or I have a wicked-fast method of rocket-based travel.
In the time remaining in CA (about 1.4 weeks), I need to somehow (a) get my knee fixed by a chiropractor (b) get my yearly physical (c) make an appointment and get all four of my wisdom teeth removed (d) get a cellphone (e) somehow get down to Santa Cruz to see Leoni and (f) figure out what I want to write my honor’s thesis on.
Oh, and pack for my final year at LC. You know, seeing as my flight leaves on the first of September. Arg. Maybe I can finish knitting that haltar top and reading the pile of delectable for-fun books in that time too? And sleep? Sure I can. Maybe. Hm.
22 August 2006
Desolation Wilderness trek of doom
Desolation Wilderness, California
As we have done every year since… well, since I started college, my mom and I (and Julia as of last year) go on a summer backpacking trip for a long weekend. Two years ago it was to Butano State Park near Pescadero (Californian coast), last year it was to Five Lake Basin within Tahoe National Forest (Northern Lake Tahoe), and this year it was to Desolation Wilderness, in Southern Lake Tahoe. First let me state that “Desolation” refers not to the dearth of people (the trail was in fact a disturbingly popular one), but to the plethora of granite slabs that we had to traverse in our trip. Lovely.
For anyone who knows the area and/or cares, our planned trip was to go from Bayview at Emerald Bay over Maggie’s pass (a horribly steep climb when you’re just getting used to the feel of your equipment and the altitude increase from the Bay Area), and down to Dick’s Lake to camp the first night. We did this without dying, so “Success!”. The next day, we made our way up Dick’s Pass (during which Julia’s feet blistered over and I became increasingly dizzy as we gained altitude), down the “Scenic Route” (to be fair – quite pretty views), and on to Gilmore Lake for lunch, and then to either Heather Lake or neighboring Aloha lake to camp. We decided to push past both lakes, over Mosquito Pass, to Clyde’s Lake for the night instead. This would have been fine, but I had accidentally not moved my Arch support/insoles from my running shoes to my hiking boots, so my feet (and, soon after, my knees) were in intense pain for the later portion of this hike. Additionally, Clyde Lake did not offer much in the way of campsites, and we pitched our tent between a family with 2 cute little girls and 2 llamas (what?!) and a pair of older men who were attempting to fish on the lake. Both of these groups were within 15 feet of our tent.
The next day, tired and sore, but also not enjoying the trip as much as we had in the last year, we decided to do the last two days’ worth of hiking in one day, marching about 10 miles of steady flatland at a fast pace (barring the frequent river crossings, where everyone but me slipped at least once) and then had to climb up for pretty much the rest of the trip, most of which was over granite and in direct sunlight. At the end, we had to go back down from Maggie’s pass (a downward slope that Julia veritably skipped through, while my mom and I leaned on our poles and coaxed our crappy knees to make a snail’s pace). In the end, we finished the hike a day early, got a reward of being able to wash our hair in the closest public bathroom (at the ranger station), massage our miserable feet, and head off towards home, in search of food on the way (and non-iodized water, of course!)
Now, however, two weeks after our trip of some-glory-but-mostly-mosquito-bites, my knee still isn’t properly aligned, but rather clicking at every move (and aching whether or not I move it). Seriously, who decided that a 21-year-old woman should suddenly inherit an 80-year-old body? This is just silly.
For anyone who knows the area and/or cares, our planned trip was to go from Bayview at Emerald Bay over Maggie’s pass (a horribly steep climb when you’re just getting used to the feel of your equipment and the altitude increase from the Bay Area), and down to Dick’s Lake to camp the first night. We did this without dying, so “Success!”. The next day, we made our way up Dick’s Pass (during which Julia’s feet blistered over and I became increasingly dizzy as we gained altitude), down the “Scenic Route” (to be fair – quite pretty views), and on to Gilmore Lake for lunch, and then to either Heather Lake or neighboring Aloha lake to camp. We decided to push past both lakes, over Mosquito Pass, to Clyde’s Lake for the night instead. This would have been fine, but I had accidentally not moved my Arch support/insoles from my running shoes to my hiking boots, so my feet (and, soon after, my knees) were in intense pain for the later portion of this hike. Additionally, Clyde Lake did not offer much in the way of campsites, and we pitched our tent between a family with 2 cute little girls and 2 llamas (what?!) and a pair of older men who were attempting to fish on the lake. Both of these groups were within 15 feet of our tent.
The next day, tired and sore, but also not enjoying the trip as much as we had in the last year, we decided to do the last two days’ worth of hiking in one day, marching about 10 miles of steady flatland at a fast pace (barring the frequent river crossings, where everyone but me slipped at least once) and then had to climb up for pretty much the rest of the trip, most of which was over granite and in direct sunlight. At the end, we had to go back down from Maggie’s pass (a downward slope that Julia veritably skipped through, while my mom and I leaned on our poles and coaxed our crappy knees to make a snail’s pace). In the end, we finished the hike a day early, got a reward of being able to wash our hair in the closest public bathroom (at the ranger station), massage our miserable feet, and head off towards home, in search of food on the way (and non-iodized water, of course!)
Now, however, two weeks after our trip of some-glory-but-mostly-mosquito-bites, my knee still isn’t properly aligned, but rather clicking at every move (and aching whether or not I move it). Seriously, who decided that a 21-year-old woman should suddenly inherit an 80-year-old body? This is just silly.
A slightly-less-biased review of my year in Munich
Berkeley, California
Now that I’ve been in the states for about three weeks, it seems time to re-examine my experience in Munich. I stand by the statement that Bavarians in Munich are simply unkind and not at all patient with foreigners who do not have perfect Bavarian accents, which seems strange for a city that is over 40% comprised of foreigners.
Additionally, I maintain that the quintessential German pastimes of drinking beer, eating processed meat, and smoking do not appeal to me, and cannot possibly be good for their health. Nor can, for that matter, the orangish skin tone that locals are so wont to achieve through their many hours of sunbathing in the English Gardens. I also loved the English Gardens above all other places in Munich, but sun screen is always a requisite for lying in the grass for hours at a time in the summer. It’s a wonder that no one notices when their skin progresses from “healthy tan” (oxymoron though that is) to a strange rubbery orange. Oh well.
Furthermore, the school system really did suck. For a school ranked as one of the best in Europe, it was shocking to note how little work was actually involved in the classes. The grade was based upon a single test or a single paper, following a semester in which the students would lead the class every day by giving a dry, monotonous, memorized presentation for the hour and a half of class. Only the really good professors gave any input at all. Most just sort of checked of days as the semester progressed.
However, to be fair, I gained a lot from my time in Germany. For all the depression and frustration and insecurity that Munich bestowed upon me, my time there also gave me a chance to get to know Jay better. Even to the point of having our relationship develop into one of the closest and most honest friendships I’ve ever had, as well as what has become by far the most loving relationship I’ve experienced (not that there’s a whole lot of room for comparison, but still). Jay alone has far outweighed the negative aspects of my time in Germany, and I really cannot stress enough the fact that, despite how frustrated I may have been with Germans, I do not regret my time spent in Munich.
In addition to my Jay, there was of course the added bonus of being in Europe, and therefore able to travel through various cultures in a relatively short distance and with reasonable ease. Every one of the countries I visited (possibly excepting Swizerland because Geneva was ridiculous) was a unique and treasured experience. From our struggles to purchase food and train tickets in Bulgaria without speaking a word of the native language, to trying snails in Paris, to the eye-opening experiences of pushing my cultural boundaries in Turkey and Morocco, the traveling I was able to do in Europe was simply amazing. And it resulted, of course, in a greater lust for travel – once I discovered that Morocco and Turkey were not the bastions of American-hategroups that our guides had implied, the list of “reasonable/safe travel destinations” increased dramatically.
So despite the depressing winter and the unfriendly locals, despite the detrimental effect on my respect for academia, and despite my personal distaste of the local cuisine (and air), this year in Europe was in many ways a productive experience. Still, were I to move to a German-speaking city again, I would opt for Vienna over Munich.
Additionally, I maintain that the quintessential German pastimes of drinking beer, eating processed meat, and smoking do not appeal to me, and cannot possibly be good for their health. Nor can, for that matter, the orangish skin tone that locals are so wont to achieve through their many hours of sunbathing in the English Gardens. I also loved the English Gardens above all other places in Munich, but sun screen is always a requisite for lying in the grass for hours at a time in the summer. It’s a wonder that no one notices when their skin progresses from “healthy tan” (oxymoron though that is) to a strange rubbery orange. Oh well.
Furthermore, the school system really did suck. For a school ranked as one of the best in Europe, it was shocking to note how little work was actually involved in the classes. The grade was based upon a single test or a single paper, following a semester in which the students would lead the class every day by giving a dry, monotonous, memorized presentation for the hour and a half of class. Only the really good professors gave any input at all. Most just sort of checked of days as the semester progressed.
However, to be fair, I gained a lot from my time in Germany. For all the depression and frustration and insecurity that Munich bestowed upon me, my time there also gave me a chance to get to know Jay better. Even to the point of having our relationship develop into one of the closest and most honest friendships I’ve ever had, as well as what has become by far the most loving relationship I’ve experienced (not that there’s a whole lot of room for comparison, but still). Jay alone has far outweighed the negative aspects of my time in Germany, and I really cannot stress enough the fact that, despite how frustrated I may have been with Germans, I do not regret my time spent in Munich.
In addition to my Jay, there was of course the added bonus of being in Europe, and therefore able to travel through various cultures in a relatively short distance and with reasonable ease. Every one of the countries I visited (possibly excepting Swizerland because Geneva was ridiculous) was a unique and treasured experience. From our struggles to purchase food and train tickets in Bulgaria without speaking a word of the native language, to trying snails in Paris, to the eye-opening experiences of pushing my cultural boundaries in Turkey and Morocco, the traveling I was able to do in Europe was simply amazing. And it resulted, of course, in a greater lust for travel – once I discovered that Morocco and Turkey were not the bastions of American-hategroups that our guides had implied, the list of “reasonable/safe travel destinations” increased dramatically.
So despite the depressing winter and the unfriendly locals, despite the detrimental effect on my respect for academia, and despite my personal distaste of the local cuisine (and air), this year in Europe was in many ways a productive experience. Still, were I to move to a German-speaking city again, I would opt for Vienna over Munich.
31 July 2006
Uuuuugh.
Berkeley, California
Oh my god I'm home.
And jetlagged, after 3 legs of sleepless, stressful flights.
more on this tomorrow.
Californian air is the best thing ever.
And jetlagged, after 3 legs of sleepless, stressful flights.
more on this tomorrow.
Californian air is the best thing ever.
25 July 2006
I wanna go home!
München, Deutschland
Yeah yeah. bitch moan, i know. Still, I have pretty much had it with Germany and all its Germans (and non-Germans). The whole place smells like an ash tray, all of Munich is overpriced (for a relative drop in quality from the rest of the world), technological advances seemed to have passed Bavaria by (cash-register AND a scale in a grocery store? ridiculous! You must weigh all your produce before hand. But only those that are sold by the kilo. some of them are marked. others are not. many are marked incorrectly. BUT, if you weight it and it is pro Stuck (by the piece), the cashier will think you're an idiot. ... S/He will, in fact, also think you're an idiot if you (a) do not have exact change (b) DIDN'T weigh something that you should have, or (c) don't speak with a perfect Bavarian accent. Just the top three, but oh trust me, there's more.)
What else... Oh, the University. That is not an "oh" as in, "oh! i know", nor as in "oh, right", but rather "oh god why". Stuck in the stone age and elite about it, this is a great place for you to test out your language skills if you are a masochistic self-hating freak. The profs care more about the layout of your paper than the content, they don't trust the internet as a source, but their libraries are filled with books so old that many are, under the dust, fading to the point of illegibility. That's for the German department. The Spanish department has a decent selection of literature-related books, but nothing even remotely recent (or objective) regarding the history of Spain. I therefore had to sift through books for my final paper on the Arab rule in Spain, with the only available resources being written either by Nazis or, more likely, members of the Spanish inquisition. Neutrality= nonexistant and the Christian church is (but of course) always in the right. Fabulous. Screw that, I'm using Wikepidia for some VALID information.
That paper is, of course, due on Thursday. 10+ pages, and what have I done? The introduction. I have no motivation other than to go home. I know this because, although it's like pulling teeth to force myself to sit and write even 1/2 a page for a class, I spent the first half hour after I woke up to pack everything but the clothes I will need for the (breathe. say it) 5 more days I'm in this damn country.
5 days in which I have to take my theater final, write that paper for my history class, finish packing, move to Jay's room (we have to move ALL our stuff to do this), clean my room (without the availability of any cleaning supplies. Vaccuum cleaner? But surely you jest), and turn in my key. Oh, and close my bank account and help one of my profs translate some speech thingy into English and not kill my hallmates.
The last one, I regret to say, will be tricky. I somehow managed to slip under the wire to gain access to a hall that seems to require its residents to be lazy, rude, loud, messy, or stupid. Over-achievers that they are, the rest of my hallmates tend to push themselves that extra mile to achieve excellence in all 5 categories.
Let's just go through the run-down, shall we? And no, I don't know names, so i'm going by ethnicity or appearance.
We have... (1) obnoxious Chinese girl who hocks (don't even know how to spell that) up phlegm at every possible moment (especially while she and/or others are in the kitchen cooking) and who's German is impossible to differenciate from her Chinese, and who seems to be a bit of a shy pisser, as, when she is in one of the TWO hall bathroom stalls and someone uses the other, she will wait until the other is long gone before breathing. Never mind that she uses the one stall with a seat to do this. Jay and I are tempted to bring a novel and just see if she'll pass out. (2) her idiotic blonde roommate, who does not seem to function if the hall TV is not turned on (i swear she lives on the couch in the main room), never cleans up her dishes, and is incapable of distinguishing between a bathtub and a shower. See, the shower is next to the bathtub, in one room. Using one effectively occupies the other as well, as you lock the main door to do so. The shower is tiled, with a slightly raised rim on the floor to prevent flooding. The bathtub has a faucet and a movable showerhead, but no curtain. There is a spot on the wall (about 6+ feet from the ground) upon which you can hang the showerhead. If you are idiotic enough to do this, the water goes straight onto the floor, missing the edge of the tub by a few feet (at least we have good water pressure?). Blondie cannot seem to come to terms with this, and every time she takes a shower, she simply MUST do so in the bathtub, leaving a small lake behind, without using a towel or the provided giant squeegy to clean it up. (3) Loud Asian guy. He sings loudly and out of tune (in English) every time he walks down the hall. He spends most of his time on the balcony immediately next to our room talking (either to himself or to a friend, I don't know) so insanely loudly that it wakes me up in the mornings, and I can hear it well after I've left the building on my way to the U-Bahn. He also has a penchant for high-pitched and piercing laughter. again, loud. (4) our newest gem, man-who-cannot-breathe-if-not-using-a-cigarette. I think he's french, but the cigarette thing beats that out as far as descriptive features go. He smokes non-stop, normally in one of the two balconies on our hall, though leaving the door open so as to share the joy with us all. One of these two balconies is the one immediately adjacent not only to my room, but also to the kitchen's two giant windows. He doesn't bother to shut them before lighting up a pack.
Other than these specific four pains-in-the-ass, general annoyances abound: food stealing (and someone actually stole the TOP to one of my icecube trays. not the tray, just the top), inability to clean dishes (esp. common ones), using can-openers and sieves with meat (the former for cutting, the latter for thawing), inability to go to the bathroom without (a) peeing on the seat (b) stuffing the toilet with paper, or (c) leaving a trail of crap in the bowl, although there's a toilet bowl brush thing in every stall. They leave hair in the shower. they take the time to STUFF IT DOWN THE BATHTUB DRAIN, they're obnoxious, they're dumb, and they just keep on living. Honestly, at this point of filth, I'd expect them to have died off from eboli or siphilis or something, but i think they're pretty much immune to everything by now.
I live with cockroaches.
I have no motivation, and no interest to do anything. I tried distracting myself with video games for a bit, but now i've beaten donkey kong and dungeon master and am sick of frying my brain. I'm sick of germany. i'm sick of feeling so BLAH. I wanna go home.
*sigh*. Just 5 more days. On the plus side, Jay and I went to the zoo on Saturday and it was WONDERFUL and I have tons of lovely pictures to sort through.
...right after I take my last final and write this last paper of course.... which I don't want to do.
Germany has, I realized today, given me total and utter disillusionment regarding academics. I hate the university here. I hate that it makes me hate it. I hate that this year has, instead of broadening my horizons and igniting my will to learn (as my semester in Chile did), killed my morale and made me consider, on various occasions, dropping one or both of my majors, not to mention quelched any and all interest in pursuing graduate study in languages, or at all, for the time being.
Damn.
Is it home yet?
What else... Oh, the University. That is not an "oh" as in, "oh! i know", nor as in "oh, right", but rather "oh god why". Stuck in the stone age and elite about it, this is a great place for you to test out your language skills if you are a masochistic self-hating freak. The profs care more about the layout of your paper than the content, they don't trust the internet as a source, but their libraries are filled with books so old that many are, under the dust, fading to the point of illegibility. That's for the German department. The Spanish department has a decent selection of literature-related books, but nothing even remotely recent (or objective) regarding the history of Spain. I therefore had to sift through books for my final paper on the Arab rule in Spain, with the only available resources being written either by Nazis or, more likely, members of the Spanish inquisition. Neutrality= nonexistant and the Christian church is (but of course) always in the right. Fabulous. Screw that, I'm using Wikepidia for some VALID information.
That paper is, of course, due on Thursday. 10+ pages, and what have I done? The introduction. I have no motivation other than to go home. I know this because, although it's like pulling teeth to force myself to sit and write even 1/2 a page for a class, I spent the first half hour after I woke up to pack everything but the clothes I will need for the (breathe. say it) 5 more days I'm in this damn country.
5 days in which I have to take my theater final, write that paper for my history class, finish packing, move to Jay's room (we have to move ALL our stuff to do this), clean my room (without the availability of any cleaning supplies. Vaccuum cleaner? But surely you jest), and turn in my key. Oh, and close my bank account and help one of my profs translate some speech thingy into English and not kill my hallmates.
The last one, I regret to say, will be tricky. I somehow managed to slip under the wire to gain access to a hall that seems to require its residents to be lazy, rude, loud, messy, or stupid. Over-achievers that they are, the rest of my hallmates tend to push themselves that extra mile to achieve excellence in all 5 categories.
Let's just go through the run-down, shall we? And no, I don't know names, so i'm going by ethnicity or appearance.
We have... (1) obnoxious Chinese girl who hocks (don't even know how to spell that) up phlegm at every possible moment (especially while she and/or others are in the kitchen cooking) and who's German is impossible to differenciate from her Chinese, and who seems to be a bit of a shy pisser, as, when she is in one of the TWO hall bathroom stalls and someone uses the other, she will wait until the other is long gone before breathing. Never mind that she uses the one stall with a seat to do this. Jay and I are tempted to bring a novel and just see if she'll pass out. (2) her idiotic blonde roommate, who does not seem to function if the hall TV is not turned on (i swear she lives on the couch in the main room), never cleans up her dishes, and is incapable of distinguishing between a bathtub and a shower. See, the shower is next to the bathtub, in one room. Using one effectively occupies the other as well, as you lock the main door to do so. The shower is tiled, with a slightly raised rim on the floor to prevent flooding. The bathtub has a faucet and a movable showerhead, but no curtain. There is a spot on the wall (about 6+ feet from the ground) upon which you can hang the showerhead. If you are idiotic enough to do this, the water goes straight onto the floor, missing the edge of the tub by a few feet (at least we have good water pressure?). Blondie cannot seem to come to terms with this, and every time she takes a shower, she simply MUST do so in the bathtub, leaving a small lake behind, without using a towel or the provided giant squeegy to clean it up. (3) Loud Asian guy. He sings loudly and out of tune (in English) every time he walks down the hall. He spends most of his time on the balcony immediately next to our room talking (either to himself or to a friend, I don't know) so insanely loudly that it wakes me up in the mornings, and I can hear it well after I've left the building on my way to the U-Bahn. He also has a penchant for high-pitched and piercing laughter. again, loud. (4) our newest gem, man-who-cannot-breathe-if-not-using-a-cigarette. I think he's french, but the cigarette thing beats that out as far as descriptive features go. He smokes non-stop, normally in one of the two balconies on our hall, though leaving the door open so as to share the joy with us all. One of these two balconies is the one immediately adjacent not only to my room, but also to the kitchen's two giant windows. He doesn't bother to shut them before lighting up a pack.
Other than these specific four pains-in-the-ass, general annoyances abound: food stealing (and someone actually stole the TOP to one of my icecube trays. not the tray, just the top), inability to clean dishes (esp. common ones), using can-openers and sieves with meat (the former for cutting, the latter for thawing), inability to go to the bathroom without (a) peeing on the seat (b) stuffing the toilet with paper, or (c) leaving a trail of crap in the bowl, although there's a toilet bowl brush thing in every stall. They leave hair in the shower. they take the time to STUFF IT DOWN THE BATHTUB DRAIN, they're obnoxious, they're dumb, and they just keep on living. Honestly, at this point of filth, I'd expect them to have died off from eboli or siphilis or something, but i think they're pretty much immune to everything by now.
I live with cockroaches.
I have no motivation, and no interest to do anything. I tried distracting myself with video games for a bit, but now i've beaten donkey kong and dungeon master and am sick of frying my brain. I'm sick of germany. i'm sick of feeling so BLAH. I wanna go home.
*sigh*. Just 5 more days. On the plus side, Jay and I went to the zoo on Saturday and it was WONDERFUL and I have tons of lovely pictures to sort through.
...right after I take my last final and write this last paper of course.... which I don't want to do.
Germany has, I realized today, given me total and utter disillusionment regarding academics. I hate the university here. I hate that it makes me hate it. I hate that this year has, instead of broadening my horizons and igniting my will to learn (as my semester in Chile did), killed my morale and made me consider, on various occasions, dropping one or both of my majors, not to mention quelched any and all interest in pursuing graduate study in languages, or at all, for the time being.
Damn.
Is it home yet?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)