It has recently come to my attention that I am very bad about updating this during the school year. When I'm traveling, great, but when in school... blah.
So, here's your mid-term update: Portland is rainy. Shocking, I know. Early November and it's constantly drizzling, occasionally throwing in that extra "oomph" to make it actually poor. Fabulous.
Other than the weather change, what else has happened since I last wrote... Well, Carrie visited me for a long weekend during Fall Break (during which we ran to all the touristy places we could in the rain), classes started handing out paper assignments and exam dates, swim season started up (competitions), and I rearranged my room.
So I suppose in all honesty, there's not a whole lot to say. For the most part, I'm burned out and just wanting to graduate. I'm lucky in that, were I not to do any reading nor attend the majority of my history classes, I could almost definitely swing a B in both of them regardless. Which, given the ridiculous amount of classes already on my transcript, would not endanger my GPA or my Honors Thesis. That's pretty much where I'm heading now, as my first impulse is to curl up and sleep most the time and the next best thing is to slide through coursework. German and Spanish are easier, as the material is actually interesting for the most part, and reading it doesn't make my head hurt. I wonder if it is worrisome that reading in English has become a slow chore? Hm...
I'm currently wondering what to do with my life after graduation. Given the above paragraph, graduate school is out for at least a year. Additionally, as I want to travel more than anything else, the idea of going to eastern Asia to teach ESL is extremely appealing. That would take care of money, travel, cultural exploration, and work experience all at once. Right now, Jay and I are looking at South Korea and Japan (though the cost of living in Japan is much higher). Without CELTA or Trinity TESOL certification, Latin America and Europe are pretty much closed off. The Middle East generally demands a Masters, plus a whole lot of teaching experience, which neither of us have right now. Oh, and then there's the minor detail that my country wants to destroy/control all of the countries in the Middle East.... That could be a minor barrier. Who knows. Jay seems intrigued by the possibility of traveling and earning money abroad, it's mainly just a question of safety and reliability.
Strangely, I've been having dreams about Chile - not just when I'm asleep, but sometimes daydreams as well - images and memories flashing by and then I'm back to the here and now... I find it odd that I'm not getting flashbacks of Germany or of my travels, or even of particularly interesting things in Chile. Instead, it's a flash of the micro ride down Cerro Esperanza, a memory of eating at a restaurant near Stephanie's house while helping her to smuggle her empty glass coca cola bottle out, watching dancers at Aché Havana. Sitting in Haydée's Spanish literature class. Waking up in my room. Walking through the school. Getting lost trying to find my way out of the mall by Carrie's house. Riding with Carlos to pick up/deliver avocados, praying that his driving didn't kill us.
Maybe my mind's playing tricks on me, but the primary reaction I'm getting from this is a need to go back, to reassure myself that all these things were real. Will this happen with Germany in a year, too? Why Chile? Why now? I'm being pulled in so many directions, academically, physically, and emotionally... but I can't be bothered with classes, with grades, when what I really want is to go back into explorer mode... to witness the unknown.
For now, though, the closest thing I have is to fantasize - consider where I want to go and how to get there... or to remain in the nostalgia of the last few years - re-organizing photos, re-reading logs...
So much that I want to do and so little time and resources, but I suppose those will come eventually.
Staying in the present can, I suppose, be difficult, though living entirely in the past or the future would make the present cease to matter... and then I won't be able to look back at it when it's the past, right? Right. So. Homework. ...My logic may, on second thought, be flawed.
